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sayonara_solita [userpic]

Now-- Am I Overreacting??

May 13th, 2006 (10:06 pm)
irritated

current mood: irritated

smartandhot2005 (7:58:43 PM): you are clearly my density

Solitia (7:59:12 PM): I am your density? I've been called someone's "destiny" before, but never their "density". *grins*

smartandhot2005 (7:59:28 PM): well you have depth and mass so it seemed appropriate

Solitia (8:04:52 PM): Ah, and also a double meaning because, by that definition, everyone is dense. *laughs*

smartandhot2005 (8:05:46 PM): if only you knew the movie it came from you'd know how apposite that riposte was - and yes i enjoy innuendo which itself is perhaps double in meaning ;O)

Solitia (8:10:05 PM): I don't know what movie it's from. I am not a big movie person... or television person

smartandhot2005 (8:20:49 PM): back to the future

Solitia (8:20:58 PM): I haven't seen that movie in YEARS

smartandhot2005 (8:22:03 PM): so how is findlay today

Solitia (8:22:32 PM): Rainy

smartandhot2005 (8:22:58 PM): in summer

Solitia (8:23:55 PM): And it's only 40 degrees outside. IN MAY. *dies* Normally it's in the high 70s

smartandhot2005 (8:24:32 PM): that s hideous no tannning for you lmao

Solitia (8:27:14 PM): I never tan. I personally find tanned skin appalling.

smartandhot2005 (8:27:20 PM): i was teasing mora

Solitia (8:28:03 PM): I am not a cow. *smirks* People are always saying how stupid cows are but the motherfuckers don't lay around in the sun and make leather out of themselves. *snorts*

smartandhot2005 (8:29:17 PM): exactly. women smoking and tanning to make themselves thinner and browner and thus more attractive - to a prune perhaps

Solitia (8:35:13 PM): I've never understood it. Granted, though, I do smoke occasionally

smartandhot2005 (8:35:35 PM): do you smoke after sex or have you not looked ?

Solitia (8:41:07 PM): If I am smoking after sex we're doing it WAY too fast

smartandhot2005 (8:41:51 PM): agreed - slow and insistent is the way to go

Solitia (8:42:47 PM): Insistent?

smartandhot2005 (8:43:46 PM): persistent might be a better word

Solitia (8:44:10 PM): Insistent or persistent-- either one implies force to me.

smartandhot2005 (8:44:36 PM): not intended - insistent might - thats why i changed it

Solitia (8:45:24 PM): As I said, my perception of either word is that of implied force. That's just my inferrence, however.

smartandhot2005 (8:45:31 PM): fair enough. im not into force

Solitia (8:46:30 PM): *nods* Firm, yes. Force, no. Which I believe is where you were going

smartandhot2005 (8:46:42 PM): firm and consistnet rhythm. you know me so wel

Solitia (8:48:56 PM): I am not talking about sex. I am talking abou seduction. Sex is overrated

smartandhot2005 (8:49:39 PM): really? thats an interesting statement - i would love you to expand on that. why is sex overrated?

Solitia (8:53:13 PM): Because sex is only the stimulation of the sex organs. A few minutes, you orgasm, it's done. The best part of sex is the warm fuzzy afterward. For me, the seduction is what it's all about... the touch, the mental stimuatlion, the finding things about one another... Sex is quick and done. *shrugs* And if it takes too long of someone fucking around for me to cum, I get pissed, kick them off, use my toys and move on

smartandhot2005 (8:55:16 PM): lol - well in that scenario id use your toys on you - and while ia gree fully
about the seduction and the getting to know someone (the true intimacy) - what if you were brought near to orgasm repeatedly for a prolonged time? wouldnt that make sex more appealing

Solitia (8:57:27 PM): No, that would piss me off.

smartandhot2005 (8:57:27 PM): cannot the lead up to orgasm be an extension odf that intimacy'

Solitia (8:57:43 PM): When I want to cum, I want to cum. I don't wanna fuck around with it, I just want it.

smartandhot2005 (8:57:51 PM): really - so you just wnat to fuck come and cuddle

Solitia (8:57:59 PM): The touch and kiss and play can be intimate without the leading up to orgasm part.

smartandhot2005 (8:58:07 PM): true

Solitia (8:58:16 PM): Actually, I really want nothing to do with the fuck part. I can make myself cum and do it better than anyone else can.

smartandhot2005 (8:58:29 PM): i sensed that

Solitia (8:58:49 PM): I would rather have the mental stimulation and intimacy

smartandhot2005 (8:59:53 PM): i agree - but im intrigued by the way you compartmentalise it - would teaching a man to make you cum that well be surrendering somethign of yourself or am i heading into quack psychology

Solitia (9:01:08 PM): The thing is... I find very few anyones, male or female, who are worthy to touch me in a sexual manner. From there, teaching them isn't a problem. However, the very idea that someone think they should be worthy of being that close to my body in such a way is an insult.

smartandhot2005 (9:01:51 PM): why?

Solitia (9:02:31 PM): Too many people today are more about fucking and not enough about knowing themselves. If they would stop foocusing on fucking me and pay more attention to their mind and the way it works, we might be able to make a connection. I can't fuck anyone I don't find intellectually stimulating

smartandhot2005 (9:02:49 PM): i agree entirely

Solitia (9:02:52 PM): I guess if I had one kink, it would be intellectual stimulation

smartandhot2005 (9:02:57 PM): the brian is the sexiest aort of anyone well you hit the jackpot with me mora
re intellectual stimulation you said you despise guys who brag about sexual prowess - you'll get none of that from me - except in play - but i dont undersetimate my intellect one iota. i am very very smart tho of course prone to moments of insane dumbness

Solitia (9:12:34 PM): Not everyone can be "on" all the time. As long as you don't confuse ignorance and stupidity, we're alright

smartandhot2005 (9:12:59 PM): i'm very quick witted and no i dont make thatmistake. is sheer intellect stimulating or does it have to be focussed in a certain way to turn you on?

Solitia (9:19:50 PM): That's a loaded question, really

smartandhot2005 (9:20:00 PM): how so?

Solitia (9:20:33 PM): If one tries too hard to be "smart", it bothers me. One can be intelligent without treating everyone else as though they are stupid. That has been a problem with me in the past.

smartandhot2005 (9:21:19 PM): i hope im not condescending

Solitia (9:21:25 PM): Not thus far.

smartandhot2005 (9:21:25 PM): i cant suffer fools at all

Solitia (9:21:29 PM): Nor can I

smartandhot2005 (9:21:42 PM): but i dont equate book learning with the only source of intellugence

Solitia (9:22:05 PM): Neither do I Just as philosophy is not about quoting those who have gone before.

smartandhot2005 (9:22:26 PM): i try to encourage intelligenc ein ppl but i hateintelelctual laziness, bigotry and dogma

Solitia (9:23:00 PM): *nods* I agree

smartandhot2005 (9:23:50 PM): i think youd enjoy jousting with em and then of course youd want to ravage me lol

Solitia (9:24:33 PM): To be quite honest, I never want to "ravage" anyone.

smartandhot2005 (9:24:40 PM): always a first time lol

Solitia (9:24:46 PM): Most likely not.

smartandhot2005 (9:24:59 PM): its very frustrating that you dont do phone cos im clearly too disatnt to be face to face with you

Solitia (9:25:17 PM): To ravage a person is to be impetuous with one's sexual advances. you ahve my permission lol

Solitia (9:25:36 PM): I don't have time or the inclination to leave my house.

smartandhot2005 (9:25:47 PM): inclination mor elike

Solitia (9:26:32 PM): Then let me rephrase that. To ravage a person is to be impetious with one's own sexual advances. I am rarely impetuous or do anything without careful contemplation.

smartandhot2005 (9:26:48 PM): theres an element of you that is confounding and personally i find actual cnversation the best way to break thru that

Solitia (9:26:59 PM): To take time out of my writing schedule to have a potentially irritating discussion with someone is not advantageous to me.

Solitia (9:27:12 PM): What element do you find confounding?

smartandhot2005 (9:27:13 PM): thats pretentious bs

Solitia (9:27:29 PM): Then I shall be labeled pretentious

smartandhot2005 (9:27:34 PM): but your prerogative

Solitia (9:27:36 PM): It's how I feel.

smartandhot2005 (9:27:38 PM): lol

Solitia (9:27:51 PM): Quite honestly, I don't WANT to meet with people, *shrugs*

smartandhot2005 (9:27:58 PM): thats what confounds

Solitia (9:28:01 PM): I find them a waste of time unless they serve a functio to me. Why does that confuse you?

smartandhot2005 (9:28:18 PM): i wonder about its origins how much is timidity how much is affectation how much is somethign else

Solitia (9:29:01 PM): I can tell you that my timidity only applies when I want to hit on a girl or when I am around a new group of people I have not had time to assess.

smartandhot2005 (9:29:39 PM): id like to meet you in real life to better judge these asertions so many of your wordsa re open to different subjective interpratation im sure youre perfectly "normal" in real life

Solitia (9:30:14 PM): Everything else of my not wanting to meet people is that I just find people irritating. They are not interested in really getting to know someone... they are only waiting for their own chance to speak and I find that irritating. Plus they then feel they have the right to lay claim to my time and I hate that.

smartandhot2005 (9:30:21 PM): quiet perhaps but not totally asocial

Solitia (9:30:34 PM): Than you for not saying "antisocial" and for knowing the difference between the two

smartandhot2005 (9:30:42 PM): so much of what you say i agree with

smartandhot2005 (9:31:01 PM): but equally a lot of it raises my anti pretension hackles ill eb honest

Solitia (9:32:16 PM): I will be frank with you. The reason why I do not want to be around people is because they overwhelm me.

smartandhot2005 (9:32:26 PM): thats honest of you why is thatg?

Solitia (9:32:46 PM): As for why the overwhelm me... they think I'm a nifty toy and sometimes I just need to work things through in my head. I don't have time to do that when other people are around. I don't process things like other people do... Honestly, I display many traits of a high functioning Autistic.

smartandhot2005 (9:33:06 PM): a nifty toy in what way a conversation starter or a potential sextoy but have you been diagnosed?

Solitia (9:34:58 PM): And as for being diagnosed, no. I just said I display traits of a high functioning autistic.

smartandhot2005 (9:35:26 PM): i think youre a combination of smart, introverted in the true sense and unconfident despite the bravado

Solitia (9:36:03 PM): I am underconfident in some areas, yes. I am very confident in others. My writing I am surpremely confident in. Although having my ego stroked about it is excellent. *laughs* In social situations I am quiet and watch people.

smartandhot2005 (9:36:47 PM): thats fine

Solitia (9:37:07 PM): To be quite honest, my social phobia stems from childhood and my school peers.

smartandhot2005 (9:37:16 PM): ia ssumed as much the school misfit smart yet not the prom queen ive seen the movies and tho cliched they have an inner truth too smart to conform yet didnt esacape to big city college for whatever reason you find liberation in intelellectual pursuits and celebrating inwardly your difference hows that for guesswork

Solitia (9:43:07 PM): I was not a misfit. I fit with my friends. I just couldn't understand why I couldn't walk up and talk to the other kids and ask to play without them treating me like I was diseased. Therefore, I do not ask to join along and I do not just jump in with whatever they are doing due to learning I was not wanted. *shrugs*

smartandhot2005 (9:43:48 PM): did you intimidate - just look different or what?

Solitia (9:44:51 PM): I have come a long way from the person I used to be.

smartandhot2005 (9:45:19 PM): thats good - im glad you have a champion

Solitia (9:45:39 PM): I am my own champion

smartandhot2005 (9:45:55 PM): but we all need encouragement to attain that self awareness thats all i meant

Solitia (9:47:37 PM): I don't believe we need encouragement once we have begun on the road, though. I continue because I find interest in it, not because I have someone priding me on it. Another reason why I don't like people is because they try to "figure me out" and are often times wrong.

smartandhot2005 (9:48:17 PM): another word for that is showing interest in you

Solitia (9:48:34 PM): I like to figure myself out. When people tell me who and what they believe me to be, I get defensive.

smartandhot2005 (9:48:38 PM): if you are quite closed - people have to pry

Solitia (9:48:56 PM): They can ask me whatever they'd like and I offer forward the answers.

smartandhot2005 (9:48:57 PM): but dont think ive told you nce ive just offered potential hypotheses for your affirmation or destruction

Solitia (9:50:05 PM): Yes, but I don't understand why it is people seek to unravel me instead of simply accepting what I have molded myself to be.

smartandhot2005 (9:50:12 PM): this is why i like conversation youre a human being not an ornament anyon worth their salt would wnat to unpeel the layers that is the nature of friendship

Solitia (9:51:12 PM): A person is a summation of their parts and having those parts peeled away leaves one unwhole.

smartandhot2005 (9:51:25 PM): thats defensive bs

Solitia (9:52:47 PM): I don't see why it is a problem to keep one's self closed and take time to get to know someone. I don't understand why it is that someone must seek to open me to my core.

smartandhot2005 (9:53:06 PM): i think theres a middle path thats known as social intercourse

Solitia (9:53:07 PM): One would not open a rose before the rose itself has bloomed.

smartandhot2005 (9:53:20 PM): but you would sniff it

Solitia (9:53:45 PM): Yes, but sniffing is asking questions and sufficing answers, not pulling and tugging at the petals that are not yet ready to open.

smartandhot2005 (9:54:04 PM): youre telling me how to sniff now?

Solitia (9:54:24 PM): I am telling you that this rose has built a lot of thorns.

smartandhot2005 (9:54:37 PM): i understand that and i am sorry but i have big gloves and can handle thorns without suffering

Solitia (9:55:09 PM): But before I am ready to make the cut, it's not fair to me that you would force me to open up to things I am not ready to offer forth.

smartandhot2005 (9:55:19 PM): there is no force here

Solitia (9:55:33 PM): Ah. And so we go back to our original discourse.

smartandhot2005 (9:56:41 PM): yes - that is the weakness - I think speaking on phone allows each side to sense discomfort in the other, to respect that and to impute nuances and swiych tracks more quickly than in IM

Solitia (9:57:07 PM): IM allows me the time to collect my thoughts that live interactions do not. Therefore I am not as easily overwhelmed. Or I can step away if needs be without voicing it

smartandhot2005 (9:57:26 PM): you need to be strecthed a little by someone who respects the provisos you have just made but who wants to get you to open up somemore tho of course that would be your choice cos maybe you are high functioning autistic and thus very sensitive or maybe you are shy and nt autistic

Solitia (10:01:48 PM): The autism would be the way I process things. Too much action overwhelms me. I can't process all of the information coming into my brain and I overload. I have to have time to myself and take any kind of situation where there are people, even being in my livingroom with my family, in small doses. If people are too loud around me it overwhelms me *shrugs*

smartandhot2005 (10:02:46 PM): i understand what youre saying

Solitia (10:02:56 PM): And I do not believe I need to stretch any further than I deem is necessary and before I am ready to do it for myself.

smartandhot2005 (10:03:04 PM): of course im just impatient lol and pushy

Solitia (10:03:15 PM): Yes, I gathered that

smartandhot2005 (10:03:25 PM): hey i aint perfect

Solitia (10:03:31 PM): And you also believe, like others I have encountered, that you know what is best and right for me. Love, no one is perfect.

smartandhot2005 (10:03:46 PM): i am not being prescrriptive Im making sugestions and observations not telling you

Solitia (10:04:31 PM): You can't say, though, that you believe you have the right tools to "stretch" me. *smirks*

smartandhot2005 (10:05:03 PM): i am well equipped - better than most idiots - but anyway it is late - so i will bid you good night - ive enjoyed our conversation

~*~*~

What I want to know is if I am over reacting to this guy and his insistence at picking off the layers instead of taking his time to wait for the rose to bloom, he is pushing his finger right to the center, rooting around there until he gets bored and then wandering off to find someone else to "help enlighten".

I am quite capable of figuring myself out and when I can't I have found people whose opinions I trust. I am not impulsive. He seems pissed off that I won't give him my phone number over the internet when he found me on an online website. I don't even give my phone number to people I have met in real life after the first meeting! This guy is too busy trying to impress me with how well he knows me instead of being insightful.

I guess from now on I need to say I am not looking for intelligent people, I am looking for insightful and thoughtful people. Gah.

Comments

Posted by: ishotyourpigs (ishotyourpigs)
Posted at: May 14th, 2006 05:35 am (UTC)

I quite agree with you, this guy's being quite rude. Well, not Rude... HE at least knows when to keep his mouth shut XD
sorry, lack of sleep=giddy Chris
I can tell you this. If I had this conversation, I'd be telling him not only will I NOT give him my phone number, but he should also not bother iming me in the future. He seems quite pushy and it looks almost like he's agreeing with your assessment of people/things just for the sake of agreeing, then trying to make himself look good, and mostly he comes off as exactly the kind of person you were explaining you WEREn't interested in.

Posted by: sayonara_solita (sayonara_solita)
Posted at: May 14th, 2006 05:39 am (UTC)

It came across that he was trying too hard to be smart. Stupid fucker.

Posted by: Darkamber (darkamber)
Posted at: May 14th, 2006 09:51 am (UTC)

He definitely seems pushy. I'd never give someone I just met online my phone number, either.
(You know, not wanting to give out your Real Name and phone number, is something that men don't seem to get. They don't have the worry about encountering sickos in the back of their minds.)
This guy also seems to be of the incredibly annoying "I know what's best for you, better than you do yourself" type. He's insensitive: "I want things to move at my pace, not one you would be comfortable with".
I don't think you're over reacting.

Posted by: sayonara_solita (sayonara_solita)
Posted at: May 15th, 2006 06:34 am (UTC)

Thanks for the input. I agree with teh whole "not worrying about whackos" thing. ALthough there ARE pretty fucking nutty women out there, that's for sure, they don't usually have the physical prowess to rape a full grown and capable man.

Posted by: Zamion (zamion)
Posted at: May 14th, 2006 10:22 am (UTC)

People like this piss me off. I follow a very important rule: "It doesn't matter if you're right, or if you're wrong. What matters is that it's MY life to screw up or make better any way I see fit".

We never learn anything by just agreeing with someone else, and changing our ways to fit. We learn by doing things the best way we can see, making the mistakes, and thereby getting a better perspective on the situation.

There is always gonna be someone, or many someones that knows what's "right" for you. They might even have the answer to attaining the goal you want...but it makes no difference if the path doesn't have heart for you.

And another thing...we all have little goals in our lives...where we want to get, who we want to be, why we are the way we are. The people that come in and try and change us, try to make us speed up our growth, etc...they almost never have OUR goal in mind...they have THEIR goal in mind. How can anyone tell you what's "right" for you when they have no idea what you want? I think "right" is entirely determined, and changable based on the goal, and the individual situation.

Ok, babbling again.

Posted by: sayonara_solita (sayonara_solita)
Posted at: May 15th, 2006 06:40 am (UTC)

Sweetheart, you can babble at me anytime you want. *laughs*

I agree with everything you've stated here, love. I really hate it when people won't let me make my own decisions and choices. If I wanted that I would never have moved from my mom and dad's. They did enough of running my life for me when I was a teenager.

Maybe that's why I hate it so much when people try and tell me what to do. Hmmm....

I don't understand why they can't accept that I MIGHT JUST KNOW what I want. When I don't know, I am more than willing to say I don't. If I haven't contemplated it, I say I think it's what I want. It's a simple matter of people can't accept that others might be, you know, SELF AWARE!!

And, while I have you captive via LJ... Planning on being in Columbus on Saturday the 20th. Feeling up for a short visit? I'd like to see you since I'll be in town and all.

Posted by: Zamion (zamion)
Posted at: May 15th, 2006 06:47 am (UTC)

I happen to be off that day, and have no plans aside from doing phone sex! I would SO love to see you...as long as it isn't before noon! Call me :)

Posted by: mourningstar72 (mourningstar72)
Posted at: May 14th, 2006 04:23 pm (UTC)

His username is smartandhot2005. Do I need to say more?

Posted by: sayonara_solita (sayonara_solita)
Posted at: May 15th, 2006 06:35 am (UTC)

Yea, good point. *laughs*

Posted by: Kili Rae (killishandria)
Posted at: May 14th, 2006 07:47 pm (UTC)

I had a friend like that, and that’s why I didn’t date him and started dating Wes. There is something about someone that trys to hard to come off... smart. Even if in all actuality they are quite intelligent, then seem like they have to show it off WAY too much. It just annoys me and gets under my skin sometimes.

BTW I say this with much love and affection. Have you ever just let go and fucked? I mean no ones in charge, just rooting around no power play anything. Just fucked.
I m asking for curiosity sake *g*

Posted by: sayonara_solita (sayonara_solita)
Posted at: May 15th, 2006 06:37 am (UTC)

Tony and I do that all the time, actually. It just takes me a certian level of intrinsic understanding of a person to allow myself that freedom with them. I have to have an understanding of how they work and what their buttons are before I would be comfortable being in a position with someone like that.

Yes, I may have intimacy issues in the conventional sense, but I don't see a point in letting just anyone that close to me.

And, yes, the disorder is called Narcicism.

Posted by: Kili Rae (killishandria)
Posted at: May 15th, 2006 11:11 pm (UTC)

Hmmm... Ok Just trying to understand the one that is Carrie. Thank you

Posted by: Kei (seraphimnoir)
Posted at: May 15th, 2006 03:32 pm (UTC)

Okay baby, my first thought reading this was, Do NOT let this guy in. He is pushy, and not in a curious way. He is assuming your naivete and ignorance in life. I got the 'pulls the wings off flies' feel from him, and you are the fly. He came across as the classic, "You only like sleeping with women because you've never had a real man." creep. Oh sure it was blanketed in clever reparte etc, but a creep's a creep in any language, and as I think you have learned from me, I LOVE men and am the great defender of masculinity, so if I am saying creep, I mean it. There was no respect for your very valid and openly honest arguments. You shared a great deal with this 'stranger' that was private and fragile, and yet he showed zero respect for that sharing, only turning it to use to his advantage. This is not a man who knows the meaning of the phrase, 'No means No." I won't go so far as to say he is a user in that he would force the bloom then drop it. More like he would own the bloom and continue to force it to bloom past its prime. If I were in the Ai no Kusabi mythos, I would say he was a 'pet owner'. JMHO, however.

Posted by: sayonara_solita (sayonara_solita)
Posted at: May 16th, 2006 08:01 am (UTC)

Yea, I know that vibe very well. While I am a defender of equality, it is not for people like him. I will defend the right for men to not have their balls snipped just because they have them. However, someone who treats me like this gets Domme bitch me. *shrugs* ANYONE who uses a "weakness" against me gets his/her teeth kicked in. I don't play with shit like this.

He can assume I am ignorant and naieve. He shant have the chance to find out otherwise.

This is why I don't interact with humans very often. I always seem to get this type... the type that would try and use me. Then they wonder why I'm shy.

Posted by: darkteknocrat (darkteknocrat)
Posted at: May 21st, 2006 09:24 pm (UTC)

*sigh* This guy seems like the old fashioned "I-prowl-around-college-campuses-for-sorority-chicks-cuz-I-am-a-PHD" type. He tries to come across as understanding but in reality he still only has one goal. Transparent fool! Casanova he is NOT.

I agree with Tony...his name says EVERYTHING you need to know about him:)~

Posted by: sayonara_solita (sayonara_solita)
Posted at: May 25th, 2006 02:28 pm (UTC)

He seems like the "I TELL you I am sweet and sensitive and you will SAY I am sweet and sensitive" while he beats you around the living room type.

Yea, I don't need someone like that. *shrugs*

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